I can't tell you how disturbed I have been the last 2 days. I refuse to turn on the TV because I can't bear the news coverage of Connecticut. I had just left the cutest Kindergarten Christmas program for Quinn and got into my car. As I turned on the radio, it was devastating to hear the tragic news. Kindergarteners! I could hardly talk. I can't even go there in my head to think what devastation this is to the families of the victim. I was no good accomplishing anything all day.
To be honest, I still can't bring myself to read any of the details or the names. It's like I don't want to know it's really true. Why do we live in a world like this? For about half the day, I was truly horrified at the world we live in, and I'm not that kind of person. Later that day, as I shuffled kids to and fro, I heard Celine Dion sing "O Holy Night" and later a version of "Silent Night". There was finally a quiet peace that reminded me of our Savior. As horrible as this all is, especially this time of year, there is a peace in Christ. One of my favorite quotes is "Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of Christ". Later, this pic came up on Facebook
It helped.
I can't imagine any of us recovering from this anytime soon. But I will say, the last few Christmases, I've been a bit Scroogey. I shook things up a bit this year by performing in the Nutcracker (a story for another day) and that has helped make it fun, but this event changed it, too. This weekend I've been all about stopping my crazy-long to-do list and being with my kids. I snuggled and watched all our DVR'd Christmas specials, I played in the snow with them, I let them stay up late, we had sugar cookies for breakfast, etc. It has made me stop and appreciate the glory that is little kids. I love my sweeties dearly. They are everything to me. I was more patient (mostly). I hope I can always cherish them the way I want to. I hope it makes me focus on the right things this year.
Merry Christmas.
p.s. Are any of you feeling extreme anxiety about sending your kids off to school tomorrow. I am.
5 comments:
You know, I haven't felt anxiety about sending them to school, but I have felt an anxiety about how I treat them. I am trying to make sure that the last things they hear from me before bed, before going in to school, before leaving the house are that I love them. That I believe in them. That I am proud of them.
I am with Karen that it horrified me to thnk at how i had barked at my kids Thrsday night as i was getting ready for gourmet dinner night and them heard of the tragedy Friday. So lucky that wasn't the last time i saw my childen. Thank you for shaing your thougts....i hope we all slow down a bit this Christmas and focus on the Savior and our families.
Great thoughts Liz. I found myself with the daunting task of preparing for my RS lesson on Sunday after learning about this Friday. (I normally have my lesson ready more in advance but December has been so crazy busy...) The material for the lesson- of course, "Living in Perilous Times". Um, ya think?!
I called the RS pres. and warned her that I wasn't quite sure what I would be doing. I didn't want to bawl through the lesson, and wanted it to be meaningful, but it was so hard to even write down, let alone imagine myself saying it. I turned to music (sounds like you did too!). I played "My Shepherd will Supply My Need" and "I Know that my Redeemer Liveth" (Messiah) and made sure the ladies sung too. Music can be very healing as it lets the spirit, the comforter into our hearts.
I too had to ban myself from the news and focus on my kids. How horrible and terrible this all is! I have a first grader, I was a first grade teacher. And then to hear of the Mormon family with three girls just like me who moved from Utah for a job just like me and to watch them grieve has just been a lot to handle. My heart just aches when I think of it. It's a reminder of the hope we all should have in Christ. We know how this all ends and it ends happy. I've really had to remember that this week. "Oh come let us adore Him!"
Ricks, I totally thought of you when I heard about the Mormon family. I had to double check that it wasn't you because it sounded so similar. So very glad that you guys are doing well.
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