That title describes the 2 things my oldest son gives me daily. I never want my blog to be a pity-party about raising a son with Asperger's Syndrome, but it is a huge part of my everyday life, so it's hard not to mention it once in awhile.
I love Parker. But he is hard. Maybe that is all that should be said and I should go to bed.
But.....it's not. Pre-teen years are hard, but Asperger's and pre-teen (and teen, from what I hear) are a lethal combination. Our thought processes are completely different. He is constantly creating trials for us and our family. I know I will never be able to control him, but I feel such pressure to make him do what is right and be....normal. He will never be "normal", and that is actually a good thing. I tell myself that all the time. One of his therapists constantly reminds me that he is the type of kid who changes the world.....or goes to jail. There isn't a lot of middle ground. He could and will do great things one day. I pray for that. His mind works completely different than the rest of ours. If I had just one kid, this would be o.k. But we have 3 more kids to worry about. His desire to do life his way doesn't always work. But I am grateful for them because they force him to do normal things. Begrudgingly. Arghh. Enough.
But I do realize that prayers get answered. Even if in little, little ways that are insignificant to others. Enough to take you off your ledge sometimes. That's good.
Sorry for the rambling.
But Parker will forever make me laugh with what he says. Here are 3 recent quotes:
"I like to help them with their geographic future" (in response to a counselor asking him if he likes to help other kids learn about maps.... something he is great at)
"Well, that was awkward" (after seeing a rather large woman out jogging yesterday...it was a bit awkward)
"Go Emi...Kick it up the side....whatever that means!" (screaming at the top of his lungs at Emi's soccer game. He'd heard someone yell that, and given his vast ignorance of sports lingo, decided to repeat it).
He's worth it.