The good, the bad, the ugly:
The Good: Trying to be positive.
*Brilliant child, though getting him to focus on homework is a challenge.
*He is loving, which is not a characteristic of autism.
*He pays attention to details I would never notice. I have really enjoyed this during scripture time. He sees details I would never get.
*Parker is an amazing musician. Perfect pitch without even thinking. His new hero is Liberace (he saw an old Muppets dvd with him).
*Because of Parker's sensory issues, we don't stand in lines at Disneyland. We earned it.
*Amazingly sensitive to the Spirit. I'm in awe of this.
*And cute as a button.
The Bad and the Ugly:
*He cycles...he has super weeks, and then for no reason, spirals into horrific behavior, nervous ticks, and he's not Parker. We have charted diet, sleep, changes....can't figure it out. If we could, we could cure autism. He's in this phase now (groan).
*No insurance coverage for Autistic therapies...this is a huge bite. Plus, you name the therapy, I have tried it. Cranio-Sacral, Energy workers, Social Skills classes, etc, etc, etc.
*Medication...this has been a roller coaster that makes me ill. We had such a bad run with some medication last year that I cry when I think what it did to him. He's now on a pretty good mix for his anxiety and nervous ticks, but I'm too afraid to deal with the ADD aspect of it. No more meds.
*The huge amount of time it takes from my other kids. I feel bad for Quinn and Emi. They always obey and accomplish their tasks, but I have to focus 100% on Parker to get him through. I hate dragging them to therapy week after week to sit in a waiting room.
* Rude, ignorant people. Bill and I try to educate people about it because a lot of people don't know about AS, but I have encountered more RUDE and AWFUL people concerning my son. We have also encountered true angels, so I guess there is a flip side.
*Knowing your son is not "part of the gang" at school and church. He used to do sports with the ward kids, but he struggled. It's hard to have the 1 kid that doesn't participate.
*And yes...the embarrassment. This is my biggest fault. I embarrass easy, and it's hard when Parker has done something mean to another kid or inappropriate at school. It's hard for me to hold my head high when he does, but I do.
Bill and I are very social people. It's a mystery to me why I was given a child who has no sense of social graces and has no need for other people. However, the other day, he was nervous for a playdate with an old friend. He was in tears.....and I was actually able to calm him down and give him good ideas of what to do. He was so happy. This was the first time in years I felt like I was supposed to be his mom. Believe me, this post could go on FOREVER, but let's not do that. I've ranted and pity-partied enough for one day. It's cathartic to write this down. One day, I may forget how it was. Some days, I hope I do.