I've wanted to write this post for about 3 weeks, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. My poor kitty died after a long and generally happy 13 years with us. I had no idea how much this was going to affect me, but it really has torn me up inside.
Fosse was a great cat. He was so sprite and silly as a kitten. We got him right after we moved into our house. We had no furniture, and we would entertain ourselves for hours with a laser pointer on our bare walls. This cat could leap.
Sadly, the years went by and he got older and more tired. About 5 years ago, we had to remove several of his teeth and then proceeded to spend a fortune on smelly wet cat food. He about lost his life when (as a kitten) clawed up Bill's favorite leather chair. That's when he got his nickname, Fuzzbutt. Fosse had several traumatic car rides and pulled tails. He was also strange in the fact that he would only drink from a bowl of water in my bathtub.
But mostly he survived the arrival of 4 kids. Fosse definitely had his nose pulled out of joint each time another one appeared. He always looked up at us and sighed like "really...another one?"
He tolerated the kids, but never really accepted them. He knew he was our first baby, and was not willing to spend a lot of time on them. Macy was kind of the exception. He had given up all pride by then.
But, me and Fosse....we were tight. He cuddled up to me every night. He would spend most the day in my room, and waltz out every night as the kids went to bed. He'd nuzzle his head on mine on the couch. I've always been a cat person, and I really just feel that a cat is a calming presence in a home. Heaven knows my house needs a calming presence. He was very comforting to me, especially after a long day and always when Bill is gone so often. I need that. We were close. I still expect to see him every time I go in my room. It's hard.
So, the last few weeks of his life, he was throwing up all food he ate and really lethargic. For about 2 1/2 days, he was curled up in my closet and didn't move much. I would bring food to him, but to no avail. On Monday, I just laid down with him for awhile. It was strange. I knew he was in pain, and his eyes were dilated so big (a sign of the end) and I feel like we both just came to peace with what was going to happen. It was a sweet moment. I'm glad we had that time. Bill took him in to the vet that night ( I could not do it), and he had several major issues that would've been too much to fix. He just was so old, we couldn't do it. Fosse had an excellent life.
(right before he died)The kids took it hard and it was a rough night. If you ever lose a pet, there is a great book called "Cat Heaven". It made me feel better too, though I still cry reading it. Bill even took it hard.
As much hassle as pets can be (I can't say I miss the fur everywhere), they are such a presence in your home. I feel like Fosse was such a huge part of our home and daily life. It is so weird without him. I miss him so much.
I know...I sound very "Crazy Cat Lady", but oh well.