Why I love and hate my job.....

Well, it's that horrendous and wonderful time of year known to my family as recital season. The stress and anxiety is once again here, and I often wonder why I do this to myself. I'm so extremely blessed to do what I do, so don't get me wrong, but sometimes the frustrating side gets me down.

Why I love my job:

1. Greatest students on the planet (mostly). They are full of energy, enthusiasm, and have a desire to learn and get better. I don't always get the most talented here at Kaleidoscope since I have decided not to do competitions, but I have enough that are really good to keep me going. I really love to see the girls that I've had the whole 11 years and that really makes me happy when I see how good they are getting. All my students come "word of mouth" since I don't advertise, and I really think that is why I'm blessed with the nicest students.
2. I'm the boss. I'm not sure I could ever be in a employee situation again because I've tasted the fruits of bossiness and  I love it. I set my time limits, pay, days off, etc.....and I have 4 amazing women who make it possible because they share their love of dance at my studio to my students so that I may have a life once in awhile. Having my kids close and so involved is a dream.
3. Creativity. Changing diapers, being taxi driver, and living with a child who is big into routines can be mind-numbing. I LOVE my outlet to create dances, recital themes, costumes and I get to share them with my students. Love it and it keeps my mind from wasting away into Sesame Street mode. 
4. Um....I get to dance. Whether it's shaking with the pre-ballet girls to "Pineapple Princess" or hitting the hip-hop with my advanced students, I'm dancing. I had several people tell me while I was growing up that dance classes were a waste of time because I couldn't do it as an adult. I'm pushing 40 and I still get to enjoy my love of dance. Ha! 
5. It's kind of good exercise. It's not exactly perfect cardio as I am starting and stopping a lot, but flexibility and muscle building is a result. And I'm getting paid to do these things (the money is nice too, but I don't want to sound greedy. I truly earn it)
6. Recital is a rush....well, the actual night of it is at least. It's great to see an auditorium packed with people to see my students. I really love that and it makes it worth it. 

Why I don't always love my job:

1. 98% of my students are nice, wonderful individuals. I'm always riddled with a few that push my buttons, stick their tongue out at me, and yes, slap me. Generally, these are the 3 year olds, but not always. And they're usually NOT my daughters......usually. 
2. Parents that decide to pay me what they want to pay me. Really....I used to not say anything, but I'm getting tougher. Just because I'm a home business, people think they don't have to keep up with payments. I really hate chasing down tuition payments. I'm not exactly a business lady, I just fake it. 
3. I'm the boss. I have to make all the decisions, order the costumes, and take care of countless business and desk jobs that I suck at. I'm such a better dancer than a office manager. Plus, I have many future decisions to make about my studio and where it's going. It totally keeps me up at night.
4. My creativity has limits. I have finally come up with and choreographed 10 pieces for my classes, but still have 2 more to come up with for recital. I'm tapped out. There is a lot of pressure to get something decent out of my brain when I just feel like plopping down on the couch with ice cream instead.
5. My body is giving out. It's always had issues, but the last year has been discouraging to say the least. My back and hips are in such a bad place that I'm hoping I can continue dancing. Once I get warmed up, I generally feel good and can dance almost pain free. But I really, really pay for it later. I have to say, other than my flexibility, I dance better now than I did 20 years ago. Experience has it's benefits. I do also hate when the little Vietnamese man who does my pedicures stares and shakes his head at my mangled feet. 
6. Stress and anxiety. This has never been my greatest strength anyways, but I do wonder how much more relaxed I'd be if I'd never opened the studio. Maybe I'd just be bored, which is worse. 

At least they are even right now. I guess I'll continue on with what I'm doing. As long as I don't totally fall apart mentally and physically. I'm truly blessed to do what I love so close to my kids. I have the "working mom" guilt from time to time, but really, my hours allow me to basically be around when they need me most. I'm blessed....truly.