Trials and funny quotes

That title describes the 2 things my oldest son gives me daily. I never want my blog to be a pity-party about raising a son with Asperger's Syndrome, but it is a huge part of my everyday life, so it's hard not to mention it once in awhile.

I love Parker. But he is hard. Maybe that is all that should be said and I should go to bed.

But.....it's not. Pre-teen years are hard, but Asperger's and pre-teen (and teen, from what I hear) are a lethal combination. Our thought processes are completely different. He is constantly creating trials for us and our family. I know I will never be able to control him, but I feel such pressure to make him do what is right and be....normal. He will never be "normal", and that is actually a good thing. I tell myself that all the time. One of his therapists constantly reminds me that he is the type of kid who changes the world.....or goes to jail. There isn't a lot of middle ground. He could and will do great things one day. I pray for that. His mind works completely different than the rest of ours. If I had just one kid, this would be o.k. But we have 3 more kids to worry about. His desire to do life his way doesn't always work. But I am grateful for them because they force him to do normal things. Begrudgingly. Arghh. Enough.

But I do realize that prayers get answered. Even if in little, little ways that are insignificant to others. Enough to take you off your ledge sometimes. That's good.

Sorry for the rambling.

But Parker will forever make me laugh with what he says. Here are 3 recent quotes:

"I like to help them with their geographic future" (in response to a counselor asking him if he likes to help other kids learn about maps.... something he is great at)

"Well, that was awkward" (after seeing a rather large woman out jogging yesterday...it was a bit awkward)

"Go Emi...Kick it up the side....whatever that means!" (screaming at the top of his lungs at Emi's soccer game. He'd heard someone yell that, and given his vast ignorance of sports lingo, decided to repeat it).

He's worth it.

Could it be?

I've been so completely uninspired to write blog posts lately. Could it be that I've discovered Pinterest? Could it be that my last 3 posts combined inspired approximately 4 comments? Could it be that a few signs of spring hit and I've been finding little reasons to get outside? Could it be that life is moving at the speed of light around here? Could it be that it isn't a good idea to be a wife, mom of 4, business owner, room mom, and in the YW presidency? Could it be that I've actually been exercising a heck of a lot more recently? Could it be that my recital is rapidly approaching? Could it be that I'm considering shutting down my blog because I don't need one more thing to do?

Bing...you're right! The answer is all of the above. Life is good, but just a fast-paced as ever right now. I would love to journal so much of the funny stuff (and the seriously not funny stuff), but I'm fried by the end of the day.

Highlights: Macy is hilarious right now. She's all about being "Super Macy" and runs around in Quinn's superman cape. Grandma saw the need and sewed her up the cutest girl cape. It has an "M" on it that looks like a lightning rod. She chose against putting a "SM" knowing Bill would never let her here the end of it. (if you don't get that, you are pure and shouldn't be reading my blog). She is also in love with "TinkyBell", which makes me happy because this girl is equally into cars, trucks, trains, and dinosaurs.

Macy loves Fosse. And Fosse lets her do what she will to him, unlike how treated the others. I think he's so old that he has given up. However, the other night, I was holding her while she pet him. I guess he'd had it and reached to bite her. He can't technically bite as he has no teeth, but he likes to pretend he does. She was heartbroken....as if her hero had fallen. She kept saying, "Be nice, Fosse" in the saddest little voice. "Fosse eat my arm!". I feel like she has lost some innocence because of it. Anyway....as you can see, Macy is making the doldrums of this time of year fun and I love her to pieces.

Emi received Superior at Federation. She was thrilled and I'm so proud of her. Parker, however, did not. He completely blanked on his very challenging Bach piece and stumbled through it. Being that he prides himself on being good (which, in fairness, he really is), this was a blow to his pride. Personally, I'm glad he did. A little humbling never hurt anyone. That's awful that I feel that way.

Quinn is surging deep into the world of Star Wars. Parker is more than happy to show him all the movies and I've loved watching them bond in their little geek world. I let them stay up until 10:30 the other night cause they were so happy playing Star Wars in Parker's room...NO FIGHTING!

I love my dear Emi.....but I worry. She's quiet and sweet and soooo helpful, but I kind of feel she hasn't found her passion in life. How stupid does that sound! I know...she's 9! She loves dance, but not enough to put tons of time into it. Same with piano. And soccer. I just kind of can't figure out what her passion is. She likes to do a lot of things, so I shouldn't worry. I just hope she finds it out and has something she loves in her life. My plan is to throw a bunch of stuff her way this summer. Starting with tennis. That sounds fun, right?

Parker....that's a post in my head that will probably never make it out. It's kind of a deep, dark post that should never see a computer screen. He's so hard right now. It's hard to weed out what is the Asperger's and what is the pre-teen. There is a good reason that the autism symbol is a puzzle piece. We are in constant motion to see what fits and doesn't for him and his needs. I worry desperately about his future. I won't go into details, but if you know someone dealing with a special needs kid in ANY area, cut them some slack and give them a hug. Help them know they aren't alone. I guarantee they feel alone.

Sorry...back to happy. I never know how much to share with that.

As for Bill and I, we are those 2 ships constantly passing in the night. We are about to attempt a kitchen remodel, so that should pretty much put me in the looney bin for good. Wish me luck. The anxiety level that I feel about choosing permanent stuff for my house gives me a rash. Still, I can't wait!

That's the skinny around here. I'm blessed. I'm happy. Just really, really tired.

Oh yeah...I won a swimsuit competition! (I wish that was how it really sounded...it's not!)