Our journey with Parker....

I should probably never do a post like this, especially on a bad day. But it's when the emotion is there. Parker was diagnosed with Asperger's ( a form of Autism) when he was 3. Since then, it's been a journey, one of which I never expected in my life. His main issues are social, behavioral, and sensory. It sounds like a lot, but knowing what we could be dealing with, it's good it's just this stuff. The trouble is, he looks normal. He sometime acts normal. So, therefore, people expect him to be normal. He's not. We are OK with this, but it's very tricky to help him fit into a normal classroom and a normal world. To just be able to relate to those around him in a healthy way takes a lot of work. We have amazing support for family, friends, teachers, therapists, and his few good, loyal friends. I have gotten through this for this reason only. 

The good, the bad, the ugly:

The Good: Trying to be positive. 

*Brilliant child, though getting him to focus on homework is a challenge. 

*He is loving, which is not a characteristic of autism. 

*He pays attention to details I would never notice. I have really enjoyed this during scripture time. He sees details I would never get. 

*Parker is an amazing musician. Perfect pitch without even thinking. His new hero is Liberace (he saw an old Muppets dvd with him). 

*Extremely creative

*Because of Parker's sensory issues, we don't stand in lines at Disneyland. We earned it.

*Amazingly sensitive to the Spirit. I'm in awe of this.

*And cute as a button.

The Bad and the Ugly: 

*He cycles...he has super weeks, and then for no reason, spirals into horrific behavior, nervous ticks, and he's not Parker. We have charted diet, sleep, changes....can't figure it out. If we could, we could cure autism. He's in this phase now (groan). 

*No insurance coverage for Autistic therapies...this is a huge bite. Plus, you name the therapy, I have tried it. Cranio-Sacral, Energy workers, Social Skills classes, etc, etc, etc.

*Medication...this has been a roller coaster that makes me ill. We had such a bad run with some medication last year that I cry when I think what it did to him. He's now on a pretty good mix for his anxiety and nervous ticks, but I'm too afraid to deal with the ADD aspect of it. No more meds. 

*The huge amount of time it takes from my other kids. I feel bad for Quinn and Emi. They always obey and accomplish their tasks, but I have to focus 100% on Parker to get him through.  I hate dragging them to therapy week after week to sit in a waiting room.

* Rude, ignorant people. Bill and I try to educate people about it because a lot of people don't know about AS, but I have encountered more RUDE and AWFUL people concerning my son. We have also encountered true angels, so I guess there is a flip side.  

*Knowing your son is not "part of the gang" at school and church. He used to do sports with the ward kids, but he struggled. It's hard to have the 1 kid that doesn't participate. 

*And yes...the embarrassment. This is my biggest fault. I embarrass easy, and it's hard when Parker has done something mean to another kid or inappropriate at school. It's hard for me to hold my head high when he does, but I do. 

Bill and I are very social people. It's a mystery to me why I was given a child who has no sense of social graces and has no need for other people. However, the other day, he was nervous for a playdate with an old friend. He was in tears.....and I was actually able to calm him down and give him good ideas of what to do. He was so happy. This was the first time in years I felt like I was supposed to be his mom. Believe me, this post could go on FOREVER, but let's not do that. I've ranted and pity-partied enough for one day. It's cathartic to write this down. One day, I may forget how it was. Some days, I hope I do.

Now, I ask you....

Is there really any problem so great or small that half a gallon of Dreyer's Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookie ice cream won't fix? I submit that there is not.

Enjoy your Sunday....

It's the "ALOHA" awards...

In honor of the Oscars (which I really didn't see), I thought my trip to Hawaii with Bill last week deserved awards...so here goes:

"Most Romantic Moment"

Just uninterrupted time with Bill. This is SO rare in our lives lately. It was wonderful to have a full conversation with him. So glad we could re-connect for our 10 year anniversary!

"Most Historical Moment"

Pearl Harbor was awesome. I had been as a child, but really got it this time. We also toured a submarine(the Bowfin)  on the property. This made me absolutely certain that I would have rather died than been stationed on a submarine. What amazing men!

"Most 'Hang Ten' moment"

Watching surfers on the pipeline, while eating yummy fresh pineapple. So cool. Bill actually surfed on this trip, but I will let him post about this if he wants. I'm sure I couldn't do it justice.

"Most Luxurious Moment"

Hotel beds, for the most part, SUCK. Well, not this baby. I could have gotten lost in this bed. So comfy.

"Loudest Moment"

We watched the firework show at the Hilton on Friday. They basically took a 1/2 an hour worth of fireworks and crammed them into 5 minutes. Spectacular, loud, but quick. Besides, what says tropical island like a big string of fireworks?

"Most Nostalgic Moment"

I found a Round Table Pizza! Round Table was my Jr. High hangout, but Round Table left Utah a few years back. Best pizza EVER. I was giddy with delight.

"Most Taken-Care of Moment"

My cousin, Linda (and hubby Paul) spend most of February in Hawaii, so they took us around. They took us to the most beautiful church, gorgeous drives, AND the best part;  Paul is a former JAG man, so he's got military access. We were treated to all the cool military parts of the island. They took us to the coolest brunch buffet at the marine officers club ( this was the "Most Glutenous Moment") and to their cool private military beach. Linda is famous for taking care of everyone, so she even had diet cokes and trashy, tabloid magazines to enjoy while there. Thanks guys for the hospitality!!!

(I know...she looks my age...she's 21 years older than me. It's disgusting. Paul kept wondering why we would hang out with the elderly.)

"Most Puzzling Moment"

Why do Japenese men dress like girls and Japanese women wear high heels on the beach?

"Most Hilarious Moment"

Waimea Bay...beautiful North Shore beach. The waves crash right at the shoreline. This provided a lot comical moments of people falling down.

"Geekiest Moment"

We drove by the ranch that "Lost" (our favorite TV show) is filmed. Lo and behold, this Dharma vehicle pulled out on a flatbed in front of us. If you are into "Lost", you know this is cool! We followed it forever, which leads to ......

our "Other Lost Moment"

We really got lost. Hard to do on an island, but we achieved it. They don't really believe in street signs. It's hard to "Drive with Aloha" when there are few street signs.

"Yummiest Stuff"

Choco covered macademia nuts, fresh pineapple, shaved ice with ice cream, amazing steaks....and Round Table Pizza.

"Biggest Revisit to the 90's"

Yes, there are still Planet Hollywoods. There are only  5 now. We thought it would be fun, but really, it's so lost the charm. Sad.

(Bill being punched out by Sly Stallone)

"Most Dangerous moment"

The gorgeous, but extremely rainy hike to Manoa Falls. It was like being in a rain forest, emphasis on the rain. It's amazing we got up and back without slipping face first into the mud. So worth it!

"Best Moment Ever"

Coming home to these sweeties. Can I just say that Quinn is going to wear this Hawaiian shirt everyday because it's SOOOOO cute on him.

Grandma and Grandpa Sackewitz watched our kids for us. We are always amazed that we each have parents who love to watch our kids. Not many people do. Thanks again guys....they miss you!

I live in the land of milk and honey...

Well, every so often, watching the news excites me. I rarely watch a newscast these days, but I was tuning in to see what was going on in the legislature with some autism laws. Well, to my pleasant surprise, they announced something I thought I'd never see. In N Out Burger is coming to my town! MY TOWN!!!! When one came to St. George, we were dying! I will be a mile away from animal style burgers! There goes the diet. For those of you easterners who read my blog, In N Out Burger is the best thing to come out of California besides Coronado and Disneyland. My So. California hubby introduced to me to the loveliness that it is. Our kids adore it. I adore the secret menu! Cannot wait! 

Seriously, a new temple, Ikea, Zupas, Cheesecake Factory 5 miles away.... I love my town. And...another good reason for my husband to stay in Utah. If he could surf the Great Salt Lake, we'd be set for life!

The words you are looking for are "Sorry" and "Thank You"

I spent the better part of yesterday tracking down parents who hadn't turned in their daughter's measurements for recital costumes. Even if one girl forgets, I can't do the order. So, most parents I call are very quick and helpful getting me the info, but seriously. There are about 3 dance moms  that are on my rude list. One mom, not EVEN apologetic for forgetting, seems annoyed that she has to measure her daughter. Didn't even say thanks. RUDE. Called one mom twice, still hasn't got me the info. She was the mom that still complains that her daughter's costume wasn't "custom fit" to her last year. I could go on with the events of yesterday....but I won't. Let's just say it sucked my day away. Plus, I have a KILLER cold that made it all the yuckier. RUDE PEOPLE!!!!!!

Just so you know.....

Just so you know....I do NOT teach my children the F-bomb. Yes, they have learned a few H's and D's from me, to the point where Parker reprimanded me during scripture time because, earlier in the day,  I had screamed D-mit when Quinn spit a mouthful of peas out onto the carpet. 

Quinn loves trucks....do you see where I'm going with this? "Tr" sounds are just not his deal. It used to be "FRUCK", but we have now apparently dropped the "R". He just says it over and over, and in such a cute, sweet, innocent, and LOUD voice. My mom tells me that my older brother did this. She was mortified when he asked Santa for a "FRUCK" (drop the "R"). I guess it runs in the family. I know he's going to do this in Sacrament meeting...as if we aren't enough of a side show.

Ah...the good old days!

Yesterday, I was lucky enough to attend an all-day reunion for BYU alumni dancers from the modern/contemporary department. It was so wonderful! I totally transported back in time and became the 20 year old dance major again. I took technique/improv class in 185/187 RB, I trekked up the "stairs of death" to go eat at the new and improved Cougar Eat, I listened to my brilliant former professors who haven't aged a day, I saw dear, dear old friends (and some  I didn't want to see, but oh well), and enjoyed an inspiring concert by the Dancer's Company. 

The whole reunion was dedicated to the "Spirit of Mentoring" in honor of the passing of Dee Winterton,  a stellar professor who was killed in a car accident 25 years ago. I never met the man, but was definitely influenced by his work in dance and education. All my sweet professors were mentors to me. Bill always laughs at me because he doesn't get how us dancers were so buddy-buddy with our professors. Dance is an intimate thing...if you dance with someone, you are connected in a way that would be impossible in a chemistry class. Heck...I've been in half of my professor's houses. I've even shared a bed in a hotel with a professor (that sounds bad...there were four of us...professors had to stay with students...modern dance budget was slim compared to the mighty BYU ballroom team). Anyway, I was lucky to be a part of that family. It seems like another life. I'm glad I'm where I'm at....those awful life decisions you have to make in college are a bear, but I miss those days where I could selfishly dance (literally)12-14 hours a day, do a little homework, hang with roommates, and deal with a little romance drama (o.k....a LOT of romance drama). It was a beautiful day to lose myself so I could find me again!